1. Your son will defend to the very last his right to wear his hat at all times. Even while he’s sleeping.
2. When you’re cutting your child’s nails the neighbours come over to ask whose kidney is being forcibly removed.
3. If the coffee machine is moved one gazillionth of an inch to the left, World War III becomes a real possibility.
4. Your nine-year-old can fix any computer problem you throw at him in about three seconds.
5. You want to ask the Mythbusters team to investigate whether “full night’s sleep” really exists.
6. Your child has 237 Mr. Potato Heads and they are lined up according to the colour of their hats.
7. The transition from winter clothes to summer clothes and vice versa has to be planned like a military strike.
8. Your son doesn’t have a teacher, he has a team.
9. You bond with your kid by stimming with him.
10. You throw a party to celebrate when you catch your child telling a lie.
11. You throw a party to celebrate when your child drops an F-bomb in the right context.
12. If your kid has to give a urine sample, he then thinks he has to pee in a jar every time.
Hilarious. #3 reminds me of the time, when Eric was eighteen months old (and un-dx’d) that I moved his crib two feet down the wall for some reason, then went into his room later to find him PUSHING IT BACK!
Yup! #1 Matthew’s police or fire uniform.