post

Autism: Running To A Better Future

Running in the 2010 event - I want this one to be even better!

Six weeks to go…

As of today, I have precisely six weeks to do two things: first, to get myself into good enough physical shape to put in a half-decent showing at a half-marathon, and second, to raise a thousand bucks.

On October 16th, I will be participating in my third annual Run For Autism. I am joining the Charity Challenge at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon/Half-Marathon/5K. I will be running the half-marathon, any funds I can raise in sponsorships or donations will go directly to the Geneva Centre for Autism.

My stated goal on my fundraising page is $500, but I am really hoping to raise at least $1000.

There’s just one problem: I’m not really pushy enough to be a good fundraiser. I suffer from social anxiety, and I have a hard enough time talking to people about things in general. When I have the added pressure of asking for money, that makes things so much harder. So usually I send out fundraising emails to people who I think might be receptive to the idea of forking out a few dollars. While my fundraising efforts have, in the past, had reasonable enough results, I cannot help thinking that I would be better at this if I was just a different kind of person.

This year, I am trying to be more pushy assertive about making my sponsorship requests. I have sent out my fundraising email to people I actually know, and now I am appealing to you, the general Internet public, to consider sponsoring me for this run.

I would appreciate, and so would the children and youth with autism who would benefit from expanded services – services that can be a crucial part in helping people with autism become integral, economically active parts of their communities.

My son George, who is almost eight, would appreciate it. He has an entire future ahead of him, and the quality of that future could have a lot to do with the services he has access to now.

To sponsor me, please visit my fundraising page.

(That wasn’t too pushy, was it?)

(Photo credit to the author)

post

If He Can Do It, So Can I

Last night, my son George was upset. He was distressed for the entire evening, crying and looking at us sadly with tears escaping from his beautiful big blue eyes. I could tell that this wasn’t just a case of a kid being in a bad mood. Something specific was bugging him. I just didn’t know what it was.

It was heartbreaking. There was this child, my beautiful boy, clearly wanting or needing something, and he was not able to communicate what it was. It was not for lack of trying. He was making supreme efforts to find the words and get them out, but no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t understand.

In the end, George was just looking at me with an expression that told me he didn’t blame me for not getting it, that although he was sad, he was used to not being able to express himself, used to not being understood.

It was that look, the expression of resignation, that broke my heart. The idea that my child is already, at the age of 7, getting used to a life of hardship, just kills me. I guess this kind of acceptance has to happen sometime, because George’s life is never going to be the same as most other people’s, but still. It’s a difficult pill for a parent to swallow.

Moments like this strengthen my resolve where my running is concerned. On Sunday evening, I ran 14km on the treadmill. That’s a long way to run on a lab-rat machine, but really, I didn’t have any choice. Circumstances were such that it was the treadmill or nothing. And because I have a half-marathon a month from, now, I had to put in the distance.

Just because I deemed it necessary to run for 90 minutes on the treadmill, that doesn’t mean I liked it. It was very hard. The running part was OK. It was the mental resolve part that got me. Treadmill running is mind-numbingly dull, no matter what you do to try and distract yourself, and it took all of my self-discipline to keep going for the full distance.

Many of my long runs – even the ones I do on the open road – are tests more of my mental fortitude than my physical abilities. I know that I can run the distance. I have the base of physical fitness, and I have developed a running form that works for me. The mechanics of my body work just fine. The trouble is that my mind keeps trying to tell me that I’ve been running for a long time, and really, I should be getting tired by now. I have developed techniques to keep myself mentally strong during my runs. Playing music, thinking of things that are not running related, focusing on my body and how it feels as I run. The most effective technique I have, though, is this: all I have to do to keep going is think of the reason I’m doing it.

Every step I take, every aching muscle I endure, every toenail that I lose – it’s all for George. All of this training takes me closer to my Run For Autism, the event I use to raise funds for autism services to benefit my son and other people like him. Running for my child – what better motivation could there possibly be?

People sometimes ask me how I do it, how I go for all of those long runs and then, at the end of it, go out and race for thirteen miles.

For me, it’s easy. All I do is think of my boy. If he can live every day of his life with the challenges he faces, surely I can manage a two-hour run.

If he can do it, so can I. And he is my inspiration.

For details about my Run For Autism and how to support the cause, please visit my race page.

post

2011 Run For Autism – The Countdown Begins

I’m feeling fantastic today!

Actually, that’s not strictly true. I was awake all night with a sick child, who at some point during the process very generously shared his bug with me, as a result of which I am bone-tired and tossing my cookies. So in reality, I feel really, really rough. I feel like a hedgehog that just got dragged backwards through the business end of a lawnmower.

But despite my less than stellar physical condition, I am feeling good about some things that have happened this week.

First, I resumed early morning running. I’ve been a little out of it for a while, and a lot of my running has been done on the treadmill. But two days ago, I dragged myself out of bed and went for a run before work. It was great. I felt the way I always do when go for early morning runs: alive, invigorated, positive about starting the day with an accomplishment. And since my route involves me running east over the Rouge Valley bridge, I get treated to the most spectacular sunrises. I mean, what’s not to love about all this?

Later that same day, I got a series of emails informing me that I am now officially registered for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-Marathon. Which means that everything I do between now and then (everything running-related, anyway) is in preparation for that race. It is my annual Autism Run – the reason I got back into running two years ago. This will be my third year doing the run. In 2009, I finished in about 2 hours and 28 minutes. In 2010, I improved that time to 2:22:38, knocking more than six minutes off my time from the previous year. This year I want to do something even more spectacular, and break 2 hours.

That will be a tall order. Taking 22 minutes off a time over a distance of 13.1 miles? It’ll be tough. But that’s not going to stop me from trying.

The other thing this all means is that I am now officially fundraising, enlisting people to sponsor me for the run, trying to gather together as much money as I can that will all go towards providing services for children and youth with autism.

I cannot stress how important this is. George’s progress since diagnosis has been off the charts, but this is no accident. It has taken many hours of hard work, buckets of tears, patience, IBI therapy, parent training, information sessions, and advice. George would not be where he is today if it weren’t for the Geneva Centre for Autism, who have provided services and training and all kinds of other resources.

I cannot help but think that if George continues to get services that evolve with his needs as he grows up, the sky will be the limit for him. This child is so loaded with potential, but he does need help and support to realize it. If funding dries up, so does my child’s future.

So I spent some time yesterday setting up my fundraising page. I have set my initial target at $500, but I am really hoping to surpass that and raise the target. Preferably more than once.

My call to action is this: if you have the financial means, please consider sponsoring me for my run. If you cannot afford it (and I totally get  that – life ain’t easy for many people right now), then please spread awareness about autism. Help spread the word that people with autism are a valuable part of our society.

And if you circulate the link to my fundraising page, that will be an added bonus as well.

I am excited about getting this show off the road and doing the best I can for my George, which means doing the best I can for my family, and for the community of autism.

post

2011 Run For Autism: The Countdown Begins

This is so weird.  It seems like it was just yesterday that I did my first autism fundraising run, back in September 2009.  I still remember how it was.  I had resumed running after a layoff of several years just six months previously, when I weighed almost 200 pounds or 91kg (to put that into context, my height is 5′ 6″) and I could barely stagger around the block, never mind run 21.1 km.

Since then, I have run a 5km event, three 10km races, two ten-milers and two more half-marathons, including the 2010 autism run.  This year I am planning more and aiming for some ambitious time goals.  How things have changed since 2009.

What’s really exciting me today is that we have already started the process of planning the 2011 Run for Autism.  I was on the organizing committee for the event last year – a committee made up of Geneva Centre for Autism staff members and parents of children with autism – and I will be helping out again this year.  Yesterday I met with Holly, the outgoing fundraiser for the Geneva Centre, and we threw around some ideas.  The first official committee meeting will happen sometime this month, and soon I will be registered for the half-marathon and starting to raise sponsorships.

People have different reasons for running.  Some people do it competitively.  Others do it to stay in shape, and others do it simply for the love of the sport.  People get hooked on the endorphins that kick in after thirty minutes or so of pounding the pavement.  And me?  My reason for running is my kids.  I got back into it because of the opportunity to raise funds for autism services, to do my bit to improve the lives of people like my son George, and also their siblings who need a special kind of support of their own.

The running is not always easy, of course it’s not.  I go through peaks and valleys (right now, in fact, I am trying to claw my way out of a bit of a valley), and there are times when I want to simply quit a run half-way because the going is so rough.  But I put a picture of my boys in my head, and that gives me the strength I need to keep going.  It is the reason I started running, and while I am really enjoying the other benefits that come from running, my boys are the reason I keep it up.

I would run to the other end of the world for my children.  Surely I can manage the occasional 21.1 km.

post

All We Need Is A Reason

This morning I woke up early and went to the gym for a rare run on the treadmill.  As a general rule, I am not fond of treadmill running.  It makes me feel a bit like a lab rat, or a hamster running in one of those little wheels.  You never actually go anywhere. You don’t feel the freedom of the open road.  It all seems a little pointless, like tofu or decaffeinated coffee.

On the odd occasion, though, a treadmill workout is better than a road run. This can be true from a circumstantial point of view (you’ve woken up with sore knees and you need to run on a surface with some give; you’re tired and cannot be bothered to map out a route; the weather outside is frightful and you cannot find your balaclava or your will power).  A treadmill run can also be beneficial from a training perspective, especially during the winter.  It can be kind of difficult to do a tempo run or speed reps outside when it’s snowing and there’s a gusty wind blowing.  Far better to head to the gym where you can focus on maintaining 5:30 minutes per kilometre without stressing about snow, wind, ice on the sidewalks, or the fact that it’s dark and you look like a burglar.

So anyway, I went for my treadmill run and worked up a good sweat.  I had some anxiety to work out of my system, so I really belted it, clocking 5km in 24 minutes. Feeling a lot better and pleasantly loosened up, I returned home, where everyone was still asleep.  Before taking a shower, I checked on my boys.  At some point during my absence, George had crawled into bed beside his little brother, and the two of them were sleeping peacefully, James clutching his stuffed giraffe, George with arm over James’ shoulders.  It was one of those moments that reminds me of why I love being a mother, and why, in fact, I was running on the treadmill at such an ungodly hour in the first place.

It is so weird to think that two years ago, I could barely run around the block. I had been bitten by the running bug previously, of course, but after seven years of no exercise my lifestyle was decidedly sedentery. I was decidedly unhealthy, and my clothing was decidedly tight.  I had tried, over the years, to make comebacks to the world of running, but there was always something that stopped me. Injury, illness, lack of time. When it came down to it, though, all I lacked was the right motivation.  When I got that email from the Geneva Centre for Autism back in April 2009, inviting me to join their team for the upcoming marathon/half-marathon/5km Charity Challenge, I knew instantly that I had finally found a reason to get with the program, and to stick with the program.

Initially I considered the 5km event.  After all, I hadn’t run in seven years and I was about seventy pounds overweight. And the event was just six months away. But the little voice in my head that never shuts up until it gets its own way piped up and chanted, “Half-marathon! Half-marathon! Half-marathon!” And before I knew it, I had clicked on the link in the email and signed up for the half-marathon. Six months later, I stood at the finish line somewhat stunned by the fact that in just half a year I had shed sixty pounds, gotten myself into some semblance of “shape”, and completed a half-marathon.

A year further down the line, I have run several races and two more half-marathons.  Another two are planned for 2011, and my comeback to running is now firmly established.  All thanks to those two little boys who were snuggled up together this morning, sleeping beside each other, making me feel like the richest person on the entire planet.

Have you ever done something that you thought would be beyond your limits?  What motivated you, and what helped keep you going when things got tough?

(P.S. My first post for World Moms Blog was published today.  Check it out:
http://worldmomsblog.com/2010/11/17/little-brother-big-hero/
)

post

Pledging for my Run for Autism can begin!

Today marks an exciting milestone in my journey towards my run for autism.  I registered for the race back in November or December – about three seconds after race registrations opened.  About a month later, I registered for a number of other races over the course of the summer months – events that I will participate in as I lead up to the main event in September.  I have my training plans, my custom orthotics, my training watch with heart rate monitor and GPS.  As time goes on, I will need to get some new running gear, including a new pair of shoes.

Today is a milestone day for two reasons.  The first is that I since I am not only a runner but a member of the Geneva Centre for Autism committee that is organizing this endeavour, I will be attending the first committee meeting later on.  There, we will set our fundraising goals and discuss ways to get more people to participate, either by running or by pledging.I will be a runner’s voice on the committee, offering my views on how to encourage and motivate runners leading up to the event, and ways to ensure their success on the day itself.

And secondly, the race organizers have officially opened up the Charity Challenge, meaning that my own personal fundraising page is now up and running.  I invite one and all to click on the link and take a look.  Look at the pictures that I’ve uploaded, watch a couple of videos and see the beautiful boy that is my inspiration, my son who I am doing this for.  If you are interested in adding a pledge, it will be very gratefully accepted and will make a positive difference to someone with autism.

More pictures and videos will be added to this page as time goes on. But for now, this is what I’ve got.  I am so excited that this is all now official!
http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=841310

post

Who am I and what am I doing here?

I sometimes tell people that I am a normal mom – overworked, overextended, overscheduled, and overwhelmed.  But in my household, we use the word “normal” very loosely if at all.  For a start, I’ve never really believed in the concept of “normal”.  It’s too subjective – one person’s “normal” is another person’s “what the hell is going on here?!?”  And the fact that one of our children has special needs throws a wrench into the whole idea of normality anyway.

To start from the beginning: I am a transplanted South African living in Toronto, Ontario.  I proudly became a Canadian citizen three months ago, on the same day – indeed the same ceremony – on which my partner of eight years proposed to me.  Gerard and I have two children together.  George is six years old, and if I were asked to describe him in one word, that word would be “sweet”.  He may be autistic, but he is such a sweet, gentle soul.  He is touched with a kind of grace that is impossible to put into words.  His mind goes to places that are unreachable to the rest of us – these places are sometimes frustrating, both him and to his family – but at times he is so present, so with us.  He does not talk much and has a lot of trouble with social engagement, but he is a smart kid who can read (although not necessarily comprehend), count, add, and write his own name.  He is full of love.  He is never short of a hug for his family, and has a healthy level of sibling rivalry with his younger brother James.

To describe James, I would use the word “dynamite”.  James is four, and depending on your own personal views, his Christmas Day birthday can be seen as either a blessing or a curse.  We ensure that he gets his full quota of attention by throwing half-birthday parties for him in the middle of the year.  James is loaded with energy.  You know those cartoons in which a series of streaking white lines depicts a character running by so fast that you cannot see him?  That’s James.  The kid never stops.  He approaches life in the same way a bull approaches a china shop – as several visits to the Emergency Room over the last four years will testify.  He is always busy, always talking a mile a minute.  He gets into spats with George, but he is also a wonderful little brother.  He is considerate of George’s challenges – not because he has to be, but because he wants to be.

I am lucky to have Gerard.  He is a truly wonderful father to the boys.   We have been through some very hard times – so hard that at one point, we didn’t know if we would make it.  But we have gone through the fire and survived – and we now know that there is nothing we cannot work through.  We are planning next year’s wedding with lots of excitement and anticipation.  Although getting married isn’t going to change anything in practical terms, it will be symbolic of a new and wonderful stage in our life together.

My passion – apart from my family, that is – is running.  I used to run years ago, but having kids put a kaibosh on that for many years.  For ages, I tried to get back into it, but there was always a reason why I couldn’t.  Then, about a year ago, the right motivation came in the form of an email.  The Geneva Centre for Autism was entering a team in a major Toronto running event.  Parents were invited to register for the race and raise pledges.  All funds raised would go towards providing services for autistic children and adults – people like my son George.

Wow.  An opportunity to do something for my son.  As soon as I saw this email, I knew that I had finally found the reason that I would not give up.  Although I could barely run around the block at the time, I signed up there and then for the half-marathon, six months away.  For the next six months, I trained and rediscovered my love of the sport.  And on September 27, 2009, I stood at the finish line with a finisher’s medal around my neck and a village-idiot grin on my face.  My legs were screaming, but every other part of me was on an incredible emotional high.  I had done it.  I had run this race for my child.  And I knew I was going to be back.

The Geneva Centre is entering a team for the 2010 event, and I have already signed up for the half-marathon.  I am just emerging from three months of illness and injury, but my training is already getting back on track.  I have a busy racing season ahead of me, starting with a 10km event on April 3rd.  All of the training, all of the races that I participate in over the summer, will lead up to this one event – my run for autism on September 26th.

Follow me as I go through the trials and tribulations of training, the early morning solitary runs in the dark, the long Sunday runs with the sun beating down on my shoulders.  Moan and groan with me as I massage my aching muscles, and stand with me at the finish line as we celebrate a triumph for autism on the day of the race.