I’m having a bit of trouble writing today. The why’s are not important – suffice it to say that my mind is very unsettled. It cannot land on a single thought and stay there. It’s more like a butterfly, flitting around from here to there, alighting on one thing and staying there for but a moment before it takes off and flies somewhere else. They are elusive today, my thoughts are. Butterflies can, at times, seem lazy. They can seem almost laid-back, drifting and wafting rather than actually flying. But appearances are deceiving: despite the oft-times calming nature of their flight, butterflies can be very hard to catch.

I cannot catch my thoughts today.

So instead of actually trying to write something coherent myself, I want to share something that was emailed to me. It is quite profound, and obviously, it strikes quite a chord in me.

I Am Autism
By Marty Murphy

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is autism. Perhaps you know
me or know of me. I am a condition, “disorder” that affects many people. I
strike at will, when and where I want. Unlike Downs Syndrome or other birth
“defects,” I leave no marks on those I strike. In fact, I pride myself on the
ability to infiltrate a child’s life, while leaving him or her strikingly
handsome. Many people may not even know I am there. They blame the child for
what I cause him or her to do. I am autism and I do as I please.

I am autism. I strike boys and girls. infants and toddlers. I find my best
victims to be boys around the age of 2, but any child will do. I like children
and they are always the true victims, though I take hostage the others in the
child’s family as well. It is a bit like getting two for the price of one. I
affect one child and “infect” the entire family.

I am autism. I strike rich and poor alike. The rich combat me with education and
therapy. The poor shut their children away and cannot afford to fight me. I am
able to win in the lives of poor children more than I am those of the wealthy,
but I will try to take root anywhere.

I am autism. I am an equal opportunity disorder. I strike whites, blacks,
Mexicans, Ukrainians, Russians, Poles, Slavs, Japanese, Koreans and Fins. In
fact, I strike everywhere on Earth. I know no geographical bounds.

I am autism. I do not discriminate based upon religion either. I strike Jews and
Christians, Muslims and Buddhists, Atheists and Agnostics. I do not care what
religion a person is or what beliefs he may hold. When I strike, there will be
little time for any of that anyway. When they find me, they will question
everything they believe in, so why would I strike only one group? I have
affected followers of every religion on the planet.

I am autism and I am strong and getting stronger every year, every month, every
day, every minute and every second. I am concerned that money might be allotted
to combat me and my takeover of children, but so far, I have little to fear.
Some countries like Kuwait, are spending quite a bit of money to assist those
who I have targeted and some, like the United States, would rather spend money
on such ludicrous things as discovering the number of American Indians who
practice Voodoo, as opposed to combating me. In an atmosphere such as that, I
can flourish and wreck havoc at will. In places such as that, I rub my hands
with glee at the problems I can cause to children, their families and to the
society at large.

I am autism. When I come, I come to stay. I take the dreams and hopes of
families and trample them with delight. I see the fear and confusion in the eyes
of my victims and see the formation of wrinkles, the worries and pain on the
face of their parents. I see the embarrassment their child causes because of me
and the parents unsuccessful attempt to hide their child, and me. I see tears
the parents cry and feel the tears of their child. I am autism. I leave sorrow
in my wake.

I am autism. I taketh away and give nothing but bewilderment and loathing in
return. I take speech and learning. I take socialization and understanding. I
take away “common sense” and, if I am allowed to flourish, I take away all but
their physical life. What I leave behind, is almost worse than death.

I am autism. I fear nothing except courage, which I thankfully see little of. I
fear those who take a stand against me and attempt to fight me and bring others
into the fight as well. I fear those who try to make it safe and easier for my
victims in the community, and their families. I fear those who push ahead,
despite the fact that I am in tow. I fear the day I will be eradicated from the
planet. Yet, I do not fear too much right now. There is no need.

I am autism and I bet you know me or know of me. If you don’t, you probably will
soon. I am marching forward faster than I ever have before. I am looking for new
children all the time. I am looking for new children to consume and new lives to
destroy. I dread the day I will be looked upon with pity or worse yet,
understanding, for that day, is the day I will begin to die.

But in the mean time I am safe, free to prowl onward. Free to cause the pain and
suffering that I do so well. I am on a mission and have much work to do and
thankfully no one is stopping me yet.

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is autism. Perhaps you know me or
know of me, if not don’t worry, you will meet me soon.