There used to be a time when the idea of a “relaxing weekend away” would give me the horrors. I tended to be vehemently opposed to going anywhere, because for me, these trips were anything but relaxing. Humans in general are creatures of habit. Humans with autism are gods of habit. I used to dread taking my son George out of his regular habitat. There were always so many logistics to worry about, like safety, making sure I brought enough stuff to maintain a semblance of familiarity, and dealing with the inevitable disruptions to routine. I was more exhausted after the “relaxing weekend away” than I had been to begin with.

Now I am immensely grateful for those stressful weekends and vacations of days gone by. I have, through the process of living and learning, reached a point where weekends away with the family can be truly enjoyable for everyone, even for the child with autism. Even for me.

Here are a few pearls of wisdom that I have picked up over the years:

1. Book your hotel as far ahead of time as you can, just so you will know where you are staying. Then print off pictures of the hotel and make a social story for your child. Most hotels have an abundance of pictures online, and many will gladly email you pictures if you tell then what you need them for.

2. Pack things that are familiar to your child. Toys and books that your child likes are essential, but consider other items as well. Maybe he likes to go to sleep with the same pillow every night, or perhaps he has a cup or a plate that he is attached to. If your child has DVD’s that he likes to watch, bring them along, but also bring a device that you can play them on.

3. When you get to the hotel, tell the manager about your child’s disability. If the hotel staff are aware, most of them will go out of their way to take extra special care of your family during your stay. During our recent stay in Niagara Falls, the hotel manager arranged to have a special lock installed high up on the door to ensure that our son would not wander out into the hallways.

4. Many kids with autism are computer geeks. Find out about Internet access in your hotel room. A surprising number of hotels charge extra per device per day, and the charges can rack up really quickly. If you ask, you might be able to get complimentary Internet access, and your child will be able to access the online videos and games that he is used to.

5. Allow your child to explore the hotel room. Yes, it can be annoying to have a kid walking around turning the lights on and off, fiddling with the curtains and running water into the bathtub. But your child is in a new environment, and he needs the exploration to create some familiarity.

6. Realistically, you will be doing many things differently to the way you do them at home, but maintain whatever semblance of routine that is possible. If you do at least some of the same things at the same times, your child will feel more secure.

7. Accept that some things may not go as planned. Even in familiar settings, life with a child with autism can be unpredictable. There could well be difficult moments during your vacation, no matter how much you prepare yourself and your child. Instead of planning out a detailed itinerary for your trip, try a day-to-day approach to give yourself the flexibility to change direction if you need to.

Do you have any tips for staying in hotels with special needs children? Please add them in the comments!

(Photo credit: LVLights. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.)