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Running for Boston: Toronto Yonge Street 10K

2013-04-21 14.11.09

There is something very strange, and very uplifting, about standing at the start line of a race less than a week after a marathon was targeted in an act of terror. Especially when you are one of several thousand participants, most of whom are wearing special bibs declaring their support for the city that the bombing happened in.

To say that the atmosphere at Sunday’s Toronto Yonge Street 10K was amazing would be a gross understatement that does not begin to describe what it was really like. Start-line energy is phenomenal enough as it is. Add in the fact that thousands of runners are all banding together in solidarity for those affected by the Boston bombing, and you have something truly spectacular.

For that reason more than any other, I was mentally ready for this race. I should have been nervous, considering that my worst race ever was just two weeks in the past. I had not exactly had a resounding start to the season. But instead of being nervous, I was excited about this race for days. Judging by the fact that you could almost reach out and touch the atmosphere at the start, my 6000 or so fellow runners were excited as well.

Not only was I mentally ready for the race, I felt physically ready as well. Just a week before the race, I had gotten my training back on track, and I had also moved back to a cleaner way of eating. I was realistic enough to know that I probably wouldn’t make a personal best time, but I thought I had a shot of beating a pace of 6:30 minutes per kilometre, which would have given me a time of 1:05:00. That would be enough to set me up for a good solid few weeks of training leading up to my next half-marathon.

As is my custom, I placed myself quite far back in my corral, and so when the race started, I found myself boxed in by runners slower than myself. For the first kilometre or so I kept having to slow down and dodge around people. I didn’t mind – in fact, I counted on it. If I didn’t get slowed down at the start, I would go out too fast and run out of gas before the first aid station.

As it happened, my first couple of kilometres played out exactly as planned from a pacing point of view. Sometime during the second kilometre, I found my space to run and I settled into my pace. In spite of the fact that most of the first 7km or so are downhill, I deliberately held back for the first half of the race. Downhill running can be easier from an exertion point of view, but if you’re not careful, it can be absolute hell on the knees and quads. Apart from that, I feared that if I went nuts on the downhills, I wouldn’t have anything left for the last 3K or so.

I made the halfway point in a little less than 32 minutes. I was happy with that. I was going at a pace I thought I could maintain for the second half, and I was on track to beat my goal time. I had a buffer of a minute or so, which would come in handy if I started to fade near the end.

Instead of fading, though, I ran the second half faster than the first. I was tiring physically, but absolutely uplifted mentally. The crowd support along the route was fantastic. There were little kids holding out their hands to high-five passing runners, people cheering us on by name, and folks holding handmade banners that said things like, “Run for Boston!” It occurred to me that coming out to support the runners in the aftermath of the Boston bombing was as much of a big deal for these people as running the race was for me. In a sense, I was running for them, for these wonderful folks who were showing solidarity with the running community, and I couldn’t let them down.

And so I sped up. I smiled and waved at everyone who cheered. I high-fived the children who stood there with their arms stuck out like traffic policemen. I gave a thumbs-up to the people holding banners. I drank in the positive energy that they all offered, and before long, I was sprinting for the finish line, where spectators and runners alike were cheering loudly, not only for the victory of runners crossing the finish line, but for the triumph of a community absolutely united against violence and fear.

In the end, my time was 1:02:48 – more than two minutes faster than my target, and only 68 seconds off my personal best. Not a bad showing at all.

During the winter and the early weeks of spring, my mojo went into hibernation.

I’m pretty sure it’s awake and ready to go for another season.

(Photo credit: Kirsten Doyle)

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GUEST POST: It’s A Marathon, Not A Race

The first time I met Jennifer Krumins, she was having a fight with her laptop. She was slated to give a parent education presentation at George’s autism therapy centre, and she couldn’t get her technology to work. She endured some good-natured heckling from the front row (read: from my husband), got her PowerPoints to work, and went on to deliver a riveting presentation.

Jennifer is an autism parent, educator and author. She willingly shares her hard-earned wisdom for the benefit of parents who may be feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole special needs gig. Thanks to what I have learned from her, I have become somewhat good at advocating for my son in the school system without alienating anyone along the way. Whenever I start getting my annual IEP-related panic, I start posting stuff about it on Facebook in hopes that Jenn will respond with a gem of wisdom, and she always does.

Since the first time I met Jenn, I have attended more of her presentations and roped my mom into filling out a questionnaire for her book entitled Autism and the Grandparent Connection (which you really should read, even if you’re not a grandparent). We have become friends and we’re looking forward to having a drink together at this year’s autism symposium that Jenn will be presenting at.

Today, she tells us about her journey as an autism parent, and offers us some advice to help us along the way.

I don’t run marathons. I really admire people who do. I have some friends that train faithfully and test their endurance over the course of a few hours…by choice!

I am the parent of a sixteen year old boy with autism. Biggest marathon of my life. Yes, raising a child with autism is perhaps the supreme test of endurance. And yet, like many of my running friends, I would sign up to do it again because in my memory, the moments of success were far more remarkable than the moments of pain, exhaustion and heartbreak.

So what are the secrets of our successful marathon? Is it a medicated state of euphoria that I am experiencing….only to be rudely awakened by reality when the meds wear off?

No. I can honestly say that while the road has been long, harrowing at times and I have fallen on my butt on many an occasion…the journey has delivered far more emotional, intellectual, spiritual and social growth than our family could have dreamed.

The secrets have been revealed to me through fellow “autism marathoners,” trial and error, and most of all through the wisdom of children with autism (my own son and those students whom I have had the privilege to teach). I have learned some valuable tips to enrich the journey and increase endurance:

1. Instead of carb loading…try optimism loading. It’s very good for you and your child! Optimism is a way of looking at life and its inherent stresses. Being an optimistic person does not mean that one is always happy and peppy… it is that you choose to look for opportunity in the middle of adversity. Feed your brain with daily/hourly reminders that adversity is temporary, and that your child is making progress (even if it’s tiny steps). “Children learn what they live,” and as the adults in a child’s life it is our responsibility to model an attitude of positive persistence and hope. We can choose to believe that there is hope, meaning and joy within any given moment.

2. Take a long term approach to training. You would not be able to run your first marathon immediately after deciding to do so. You need to train. It’s the same thing with raising your child. Too often, we get stuck on a panic button in the early years. We may feel like we have to do it all right now in order to win the race against autism. It doesn’t work that way. Live in the present but plan for the future. Each day, each hour that you invest in being the kind of parent you want to be has a cumulative effect. In the long run, it is the lessons of perseverance, self- advocacy, and hope that will develop your child’s ability to be resilient and to ignite a sense of self- worth and self -confidence. Children learn by doing….by failing and trying again. They do not gain self- confidence when we tell them they can do it….and then we do it for them. The values you live by will be the greatest gift you give your child with autism….more than any treatment/intervention.

3. Visualize and rehearse the route. What are your long-term goals for your child? What do you envision for your child in the future? Design your plan so that you not at the mercy of someone’s map. Take the time to write down your thoughts on the following: What are my child’s strengths, skills, interests, challenges and limitations? What about my child gives me the most joy? What are my biggest fears or worries? What goals do I value for my child’s development? What specific behaviours, or other problems, have I observed? How did I react? What did I do in the situation? What could I do better next time, if anything? Have I recently noticed any changes in behaviour or ability? Be prepared to share what you know with those who are on the journey with you (even if you don’t like them). But remember, your plan must be in writing.

4. Talk with folks along the way, enjoy the course, smile often. The autism marathon is a social event. Too often we try to do it alone and we burn out. We need each other. We even need the people that drive us nuts because they keep us running; trying to learn more, be more and advocate more. Choose not to allow bitterness, resentment and hatred ruin the journey. We are the ones who suffer (as do our children) when we allow destructive feelings to shape us. Advocate one step at a time, one person at a time with patience and humility. The journey is much richer when we allow others to help. It is a sign of strength and selflessness to say, “Yes, I could use your help.”

5.  Set goals. Work to achieve them and stay focused on the things you want. Your life does not wait until you “fix” the autism. This is it. Treat your life as the gift it is. The time is now to take figure out what you will be living in the next five years (ten and twenty). Start with small steps towards those goals. Catch yourself if you are waiting to live your life. Perhaps, autism is in some way a vehicle for achieving those goals. Seize the time and model for your child what it looks like to live a goal directed life.

The marathon continues. There are more times of peace now…but never for too long. Struggle creates a rich environment for personal growth. Just set your eyes and heart on the target and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

To learn more about Jennifer and the books that she has written, check out Autism Aspirations.

(Photo credit: Jennifer Krumins)

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Grandpa And The Floozie: Good Friday Ten-Miler

Running is the one area of my life where all of my health interests intersect. It is good for my general health, it does a lot to keep depression at bay, and it is the means by which I raise funds for autism services.

It is no wonder that I take my running so seriously, nor that I’ve been anxiously awaiting my first race of the season: the Good Friday Ten-Miler, which happened today. I had watched the weather forecast throughout the week, and I was excited about the prospect of running in shorts to herald the arrival of Spring.

When I arrived at the start, the bitterly cold wind caused me some anxiety. I could deal with the shorts but I didn’t know if I would be able to take off my jacket. It was sunny, though, and it was only cold when the wind blew. And so I decided to stop being a sissy and leave the jacket in the car.

I headed to the registration area to pick up my race kit, and the first thing I had to do was look up my bib number. When I saw what it was, I actually snorted with laughter.

666. The number of the beast.

Seriously? I was going to have to run ten miles with the number 666 on my shirt? Where people could see me? The man who gave me my bib had a good laugh and told me to “run like the devil”.

I got to the start line with about a minute to spare, and all of a sudden we were off. I was aiming to beat 1:45:00, and in my eagerness to have a good race, I flew out of the starting blocks. I ran my first kilometre in 6:05, and realized that if I was going to meet my target I would have to dial it back a little.

A big hill in the second kilometre took care of getting my pace back in line, and through the rest of the race my pace was more or less consistent. Somewhere between the third and fifth kilometres, I saw my friend and coach Phaedra, who was a couple of kilometres ahead of me in the race. We waved and exchanged a high-five and went on our respective ways.

About six kilometres in, I tucked in behind a tall elderly man who was running at just the right pace. After a while I picked up my pace and passed him. Two kilometres further, at about the halfway mark, I slowed down and the man caught me.

He ran with me for a little while, and then we got to the big hill again, and he turned out to be better at tackling it than me. Off he went into the distance. I saw Phaedra again, but by this point she was entering her final mile and I still had about six kilometres to go.

Throughout the race, me and the elderly man were passing each other but staying more or less within spitting distance of each other.

With about three kilometres to go, I caught up with the man again. Sensing that we were going to be running alongside each other for a while, he started chatting to me. Jovially, he said, “I’ll race you to the finish!”

In wonderment that I could talk at all, I said to him, “You’re on!”

“Well, I gotta tell you. You may be young and pretty, but there’s no way I’m allowing myself to get chicked in a race.”

God bless him. He had called me young and pretty! I’m 42 years old, and having run 13km pretty hard at that stage, I looked anything but pretty. Still, it was nice of him to say so.

There is a fine but steely thread of competitiveness that runs through my veins, and I decided then and there to take on the man’s challenge. I said to him, “Well, you may have a ton more running experience than me, and you certainly look like you’re in better shape, but I’m not letting myself get beaten by someone who’s clearly a lot older than me.”

With a twinkle in his eye, he said, “Let’s see who gets home first. The grandpa or the floozie!”

Like a shot, he was off. And I wasn’t having any of it. I picked up my pace and chased him. I caught him and stuck with him for the next kilometre and a bit. I have to say, he put up a hell of a fight. Every time I sped up, so did he. But that little bit of competitiveness in me refused to lie down and die, so I kept trying.

All of a sudden, I could smell the finish line around the corner. I dug deep and found the biggest finishing kick that I’ve ever had. With about 500 metres to go, I finally passed my elderly friend and sprinted to the finish line, clocking a time of 1:43:10.

Not only had I beaten my target time of 1:45:00, I had absolutely smashed my previous personal best time by almost ten minutes.

And the floozie had beaten the grandpa.