Kirsten, Author at Running for Autism

How To Buy Toys For Kids With Autism

December 27, 2013 By Kirsten

One of the hardest things for us autism parents to deal with is buying toys for our kids. Our kids don’t really do toys, simply because they don’t really play. It can be heartbreaking to get something we are sure our child will love, be all excited as we give it to them, and then kind of deflate while the child shows little or no interest in the toy.

One day, shortly after George was diagnosed with autism, I bought him an activity table that was chock-full of sensory-type things for him to do, including a toy phone. He tugged mightily at the toy phone until he succeeded in pulling it off its string, and then spent hours – literally, hours – lying on his back playing with the string. He paid absolutely no attention to any other part of the activity table.

And so I tried crafty things. Paper, pencils, crayons. I mean, what kid doesn’t like to scribble and make a mess, right? In theory, this was a good idea, but in practice it fell a little flat. Although there’s never been anything wrong with George’s gross motor skills – the kid sometimes demonstrates Olympic-like coordination – his fine motor skills are still behind where they should be. For a long time, he just didn’t have the ability to hold the coloured pencils and safety scissors that I lovingly bought him.

After a decade of autism parenting, I am finally starting to get it. I am, through my experiences and those of others, figuring out how to get toys and activities that my son will actually use. Here are some of my pearls of wisdom.

1. Test-drive toys from a local lending library before buying them. You’ll save a lot of money if you can discover ahead of time that your child won’t like the toy (this tip comes from fellow autism mom Jacquie, who left it as a comment on a previous blog post).

2. Go with your child’s interests. If that means buying Mr. Potato Head or Mega Blocks for ten Christmases in a row, so be it. At least your gifts will be appreciated.

3. Check out websites for educational toys and activities. A great one is UK-based Junior Scholars. They have an entire section for special needs items, including ergonomically designed pencils and pencil sharpeners for left- and right-handed children, fine motor activities like lacing toys and peg boards, and giant hourglass-style timers, which are ideal for kids who need visual reminders. Conveniently, they accept PayPal as well as credit card payments, and they ship internationally.

4. Think outside the toy aisle. When we realized that George’s fancy activity table was only being used for its string, we decided to get rid of it. We couldn’t expect George to go cold turkey on the string, and we didn’t want to spend a fortune on a toy just for the sake of a string. So we went to the dollar store and bought one of those miniature mops that some people use for cleaning dishes. It worked like a charm.

5. Think visually. Many kids with autism are visual learners. We tried for months and months to teach George how to name colours. In the end, all it took was two months of playing Mr. Potato Head games with my mother.

6. Cater to the deep pressure needs. Many kids with autism love to do things like swing, jump and wrestle. Providing toys suitable for this will not only satisfy that need within your child, it might also save your furniture. We have to keep one of those small round trampolines in our living room for George to jump on. I think we’re on our third one now, and that’s OK. Replacing a $30 trampoline is a lot cheaper and easier than buying a new bed.

If you buy a toy that gets a lukewarm reception, give it a bit of time. Like many typical kids, auties have interests that wax and wane, and sometimes they simply need to get used to the new toy being there.

Do you have any tips to add? Leave them in the comments!

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle, published in accordance with my disclosure policy.

Photo credit: Junior Scholars. Picture used with permission.

Filed Under: autism, Junior Scholars, Special Needs, Toys Tagged With: activity table, crafts, deep pressure needs, educational toys, fine motor skills, interests, lending library, visual learners

2013: Memorable Moments

December 26, 2013 By Kirsten

With just a few days left in 2013, this seems like a good time for me to take a look at some highlights of the last twelve months. The word “highlights” is a bit of a misnomer, though – a large portion of the year was filled with the most mind-bending stress. To be completely honest, I am ready for the year to be done. I am ready to wake up on January 1, 2014 looking forward to a year of new beginnings.

Not a lot happened in the first three months of the year. I was working overtime on a massive project, so for a while I didn’t really have a life. From time to time I went running, and that was going great until the day I gave myself an injury by doing a long run at race pace on icy sidewalks. As far as common sense goes, that was not one of my shining moments. I had to pull out of a half-marathon that I had registered for – not the greatest start to my season.

In April I ran a ten-mile race that can only be described as my worst race ever. It took place on a golf course, which was very scenic but had a scary number of hills. If the weather had been nice it might not have been so bad, but it was cold and windy, and it was raining. Instead of feeling down about my dismal finishing time, though, I was surprisingly upbeat. I had run this brutally hard race in terrible weather, and I had crossed the finish line. It was a testament to my determination. The hard-earned finisher’s medal I got that day is one of my favourites, just because of how hard I had to work to earn it.

In May, my life kind of spiralled out of control a little. Things were going reasonably well at the time: my running was back on track and my big project was a whisker away from being closed after a successful implementation. A few days from the end of that month, I got the shock of my life when I was called into a little office in the HR department and informed that I no longer had a job. I had seen it coming – much change was afoot at my place of work and they had been downsizing people for a while.

Something else happened in May that shook my foundations quite badly. One of my best friends, who I had known for seventeen years, passed away after a lifelong battle with Cystic Fibrosis. Fran was just shy of her 41st birthday when she died, and years of knowing that I would in all likelihood lose her did not make it easier when it happened. I have so memories that include Fran, including her first race and my wedding. Seven months on, I’m still having trouble adapting to a world that she no longer inhabits.

In June, my family and I went away to Niagara Falls for a few days. It was a break I desperately needed, and it included the Niagara Falls Women’s Half-Marathon. I had a fantastic race – although it was not my best-ever performance, my finishing time was respectable enough. The race was a perfect opportunity for me to run off a bit of stress.

July kind of passed without me noticing. I was worn out from stress and grief, and I was fighting what felt like a losing battle with depression. I applied for jobs without getting any responses, and my spirits sank lower and lower with each passing day. Ultimately, what got me through was running.

August started off on a note of terrible tragedy, when a friend’s seven-year-old son drowned in a river. He hung on in hospital for a couple of days, but in the end, his mother had to make the heartbreaking decision to let him go. I felt the kind of sadness that threatens to engulf you, like a heavy blanket that suffocates. I started worrying a lot – about my kids, about the twists and turns of fate that we have no control over, about friendship and whether I was doing enough for the people in my life, including the bereaved mother.

Luke

In September, I was supposed to travel to Ottawa to take part in the Army Run, a majestic half-marathon in the nation’s capital city. Due to illness and circumstance, the trip had to be canceled at the last minute. The disappointment was excruciating. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal, especially when looked at beside all of the other stuff that had been going on, but at that point my coping skills had been eroded to the point of nothingness. I turned to my trusty method of stress relief and threw myself into my running.

A month later, my training paid off when I ran my main race of the season: the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront half-marathon. For the fifth consecutive year, I ran the race to raise funds for the Geneva Centre for Autism. Inspired by my son George, I ran my way to a personal best time. It was a truly fantastic race, and that day marks the point at which I finally started to claw my way back from the terrible depression that I had been going through.

In November I signed up for a novel-writing challenge called NaNoWriMo. I decided that what I really needed was a goal, and writing a book in thirty days seemed like a reasonable one. Every day when I woke up, I sat at my laptop and hammered out two thousand words, and by the time the end of November rolled around, I had a completed manuscript of almost 60,000 words. It was a first draft, meaning I would need to do a whole lot of work to make it fit for public consumption, but I had done it. That achievement did wonders for my confidence.

December has, for the most part, been kind to me. Yes, we had a pesky ice storm that cut out power for a few days and left a mess of fallen trees and broken branches all over the neighbourhood, but we got through it. Although there was the obligatory family drama, we enjoyed Christmas. We even got a picture of Santa that involved a lot of fun and no autism meltdowns.

Over the next few days, I will be setting some goals for 2014. I have lofty plans that include running a 30K race and getting my book published. For now, though, I am enjoying time with my family, and in spite of the more stressful things that have happened this year, I am feeling grateful for what I have.

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-marathon picture: www.marathon-photos.com. Photo credit for all other images: Kirsten Doyle.

Filed Under: 2013 Year In Review, Christmas, Death, Depression, family, Friendship, Job Loss, running, Stress, Writing Tagged With: autism, cystic fibrosis, downsized, drowning, geneva centre for autism, goals, grand scheme of things, half-marathon, NaNoWriMo, personal best, sadness, work

My Birthday Race: Tannenbaum 10K

December 10, 2013 By Kirsten

Photo credit: Rob Tripp

When I sat down at the beginning of 2013 to plan this year’s race calendar, there were three or four races that I knew I had to include. The Tannenbaum 10K was one of them. I ran this race in 2012 (in the pouring rain, I might add), and had a fantastic time. Also, this year’s race was going to happen on my 44th birthday. Anyone who’s a runner will know there is no better way to spend a birthday than by running a race.

I stalked the race website throughout the year, and about five minutes after seeing the announcement that registrations had opened, I was signed up. I sent an email to the race director asking if I could please, pretty please, have bib number 44. He replied on the same day, promising to try. When I went to pick up my race kit on the eve of the race, I was delighted to see that I had, in fact, been given bib 44. I was also given a race kit with some nice goodies, including a super-cool winter hat that has already become an essential part of my winter wardrobe. I never leave the house without it.

Photo credit: Kirsten Doyle

On the morning of the race, I found a parking spot (a free parking spot!) about a minute’s walk from the start line. This, along with the gorgeous winter weather, boded well. I went to check my bag and ran into my friend Phaedra. We chatted for a while, then it was time to check my bag and line up at the start line.

I got off to as good a start as I could. I started far back in the pack and got caught behind slower runners (a deliberate tactic to avoid starting too fast). During the first kilometre, my dollar store earbuds gave up the ghost. I didn’t have a spare pair of earbuds with me, so I had to run the race without music. I realised that I have become far too dependent on music for setting my pace, because I struggled to find my rhythm after that.

In spite of this, I managed to keep a reasonably consistent pace, and I didn’t do too badly running up the Spit. Usually I hate running up the Spit. I find it lonely and soul-destroying. However, the race only took us a short distance up the Spit and back. At the 5K turnaround point I sped up a little, knowing that I was now heading back the way I had come. A wave of exhaustion hit me somewhere around the 7K mark, but I forced myself on, telling myself that I only had about 20 minutes left.

I crossed the finish line in a little over 1:04:00 – not my best time, but well within what I was hoping for. I collected my finisher’s medal, and then went to get a post-race snack. Instead of the usual bananas and bagels, there were these sinfully delicious scone-pastry type things. They were so good that I had two of them.

Photo credit: Kirsten Doyle

I met up with Phaedra again, and we headed to the awards presentation area. Not only was Phaedra the first Masters woman over the finish line, she broke the women’s Masters course record. She collected her award, and I picked up a draw prize (a hat and a voucher for a Road ID, which is already on its way to me).

Just like last year, I found this event to be well-organised and festive. There was a community spirit that sometimes gets lost in the larger events. And the cause – giving Christmas to families who cannot afford it – is absolutely fantastic. After two years of running this race, I can say with confidence that it has earned a permanent spot on my annual race calendar.

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle.

Filed Under: Birthday, Race, running, Tannenbaum 10K Tagged With: bib number, community spirit, race calendar, race kit, the Spit, winter weather

Five Money-Saving Tips For Special Needs Families

December 5, 2013 By Kirsten

Few people would argue the fact that we live in tough financial times. It is harder than it used to be to get a job, keep a job, save money and ~~stay~~ get out of debt. For parents of special needs children, the burden can be greater. Even in a place like Ontario, where many families – including my own – are fortunate enough to receive government-funded autism intervention services, money can be tight. There is respite care to pay for and specialised equipment to buy, and only X-number of dollars in funding available.

Then we have to deal with things like birthdays and Christmas, putting food on the table and buying countless pairs of shoes for feet that grow at a bizarre pace.

How are we supposed to provide for our families, buy enough stuff for our kids to have a little bit of fun, AND save for a rainy day?

*Sigh*

It would be great if money grew on trees. Because it doesn’t, I have a few tips that might ease the crunch just a little and help you put a bit of money aside.

1. Automated savings account: If you are always wondering how to save money before it disappears out of your bank account, you might want to look into a plan that automatically moves money into a savings account. That way, the money is spoken for before you even see it.

2. The 52-week savings challenge: This is a great way to plan for those Christmas expenses that can ding you. How it works is that each week you save a dollar more than you did the previous week. In Week 1, put away $1. In week 2, put away $2. In week 3 – well, you get the picture. Once you put away $52 in week 52, you will have amassed a lovely little stash worth $1,378.

3. Make use of funding: This sounds obvious, but the funding machine can be a mysterious and frightening labyrinth. Talk to a financial expert to make sure you are using all funding avenues available to you, and see if there are any tax credits that you can take advantage of.

4. Plan toy shopping carefully: Many seasoned autism parents will agree that buying toys for our kids can be a big fat waste of money. It is so tempting, when a child has just been diagnosed with autism, to go out and buy toys that claim to encourage speech, develop social interaction skills and enhance learning. But the fact is that our kids don’t really do toys. They don’t know how to play with them. It is far better to let your child express an interest and then buy toys that fit that interest. I’ve been buying Mr. Potato Heads for my son for almost seven years now. I’ll probably be buying them seven years in the future. I’m OK with that, because it’s what works for him, and I’d rather let him grow the world’s biggest Mr. Potato Head collection than spend a fortune on stuff that will never be used.

5. When you’re buying electronics, see if an older model is available: There is an abundance of electronic toys for kids, including learning laptops and tablet-like devices. They cost a small fortune, especially at high-demand times like Christmas and back-to-school. That’s when the latest and greatest models of these toys come out, and they come out with inflated prices so the retailers can look good by offering quote-unquote “discounts”. When you’re shopping for toys of this nature, ask the sales associate or store manager if an older model of the toy is kicking around in their stock room. Most store staff will go out of their way to help you if you explain that you are the parent of a special needs child and don’t have a lot of money.

Do you have any money-saving tips to add? Let me know in the comments!

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle, published in accordance with my disclosure policy. Photo credit: nophoto4jojo. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.

Filed Under: autism, Finance, money, Saving Tagged With: automated savings account, electronics, funding, older model, provide, save, savings challenge, tough financial times, toy shopping

Holiday Season Survival Tips For Autism Families

November 28, 2013 By Kirsten

We have reached the time of year when Christmas decorations come out and people start talking about how much Christmas shopping they have left to do. In my case, I still have to do 100% of my Christmas shopping left to do. That percentage is not likely to change until about a week before Christmas.

Christmas also means spending time with people, going to different events, making sure the Santa picture gets taken – all of that good stuff that gets a little bit overwhelming. If it’s overwhelming for me, I cannot imagine what it must be like for a child who has autism. And so I asked a group of autism parents what measures they take to ensure that they – and their kids – get through the holiday season intact. Here are their responses.

* Schedule everything out. Avoid scheduling too much for one day, and ensure that the schedule includes breaks.

* Do a visual schedule and/or social story for each day that something is happening.

* Tie a knot in the end of the rope and hang on!

* Do what works for your family and don’t compare your celebrations to anyone else’s. Remember that all those Pinterest and Facebook pictures are snapshots of one posed instant and do not mean that everyone else has their act together. Dare to send a Christmas picture of your kids pulling each other’s Santa hats off and poking each other with candy canes.

* Do not let your relatives turn the holiday gathering into an annual progress/lack-of-progress check on your autie. Refuse to be quizzed and just pour another round of drinks.

* Appreciate the fact that your autie doesn’t care about the presents. Know that you’re giving him plenty that can’t be wrapped up — like permission to play Raffi’s Christmas album 24/7 all December. Priceless.

* Go at your kid’s speed. When it’s time to call it quits, call it quits, even if that means it takes three days to open Christmas presents.

* Try to minimize sensory input to avoid meltdowns.

* Have a quiet room your autie can retreat to when everything gets overwhelming.

* Do not insist that your autie open all of his presents at once. Let them set the pace.

* Limit the number of parties you go to with your autie. Make arrangements to leave early if you need to.

* Bring his favorite food with you, so he has something to eat if he can’t tolerate any of the party foods.

* Ask family members to remove all those wire and plastic pieces from the packaging of gifts they are giving to your child. That way, your child can just open the present and take it out.

* Take two cars if possible, so when the autie is ready to go, one parent can stay with the other kids.

* Bring familiar stuff, especially if festivities will be in an unfamiliar place. That could be a toy, or a favourite cup or plate to use.

* Don’t feel guilty about not having a Norman Rockwell Christmas. Have a Christmas your kid will enjoy, not what everyone else thinks it should be. Christmas is for kids including ours.

* Don’t be afraid to stand up for your child “just because it’s the holiday”. You and your child shouldn’t have to put up with someone’s crap just because you only see them on the holidays.

* Ask people to come to you. Other people may not have “autism friendly” houses, so it may be easier to host everything at your house. This works better for small families.

* If you have a large family, it might be easier to let someone else host the festivities. That way, you and your autie can leave if things get overwhelming, which is easier than kicking guests out of your house.

* If you have one of those families that doesn’t get along, don’t feel bad about not spending Christmas with them. Stress is not good for our kids.

If you have any tips of your own, please add them in the comments!

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle, which input from some amazing autism parents.

Filed Under: autism, Christmas, family, Holidays Tagged With: familiar stuff, meltdowns, overwhelming, parties, presents, schedule, sensory input

Product Review: Guideline Eyewear Draft Sunglasses

November 22, 2013 By Kirsten

I have always resisted the idea of running in sunglasses. Somehow, I just cannot get excited by the prospect of having something on my face that adds to the already-abundant sweat and makes my vision go all foggy. Besides, with my fuel belt, my phone, my training watch and everything else, don’t I already have enough stuff when I run? I don’t like the feeling of being bogged down.

But I’m nothing if not open-minded, so when I was offered a pair of Guideline Eyegear Draft sunglasses – specially made to cater for the needs of athletes – in exchange for a review, I thought, “Why not?”

The first thing that struck me when I received the sunglasses was their weight – or the lack thereof. The glasses I use for watching TV, which look like this…

… are roughly the same weight as the Draft sunglasses and the case they come in, which look like this…

Armed with the reassurance that weight was not going to be a problem, I picked a bright sunny day and took the sunglasses out for a test run. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

The sunglasses fit me like a very comfortable glove. I can shake my head around and tilt my head to look at the ground, and they don’t budge. They don’t do that annoying thing glasses sometimes do, of sliding off the bridge of my nose. At the same time, they are not actually tight. The arms curve inward to ensure a snug fit, but then the ends curve very slightly outwards, so as to avoid digging painfully into my head behind my ears.

A couple of other nice features make these sunglasses comfortable for athletes. Like this:

Floating nose pads: no more uncomfy dents on the bridge of my nose!

And this:

Brow ventilation prevents the glasses from swimming around in a pool of sweat

Functionally, the glasses are great. I tested them on a bright, bright day, and they did a good job of protecting my eyes from the sun’s glare. They didn’t shift while I was running, and I didn’t have any sweat dripping into my eyes. I had one teeny, tiny complaint: three times during a 5K run, the lenses fogged up. But each time, they cleared by themselves within seconds, without me having to take them off.

Going forward, I will definitely incorporate these glasses into my regular outdoor running outfit. I look forward to trying them out in the winter, on a day when the sun reflects off the snow.

An added bonus? These glasses look pretty darned cool!

Disclaimer: A pair of Guideline Eyewear Draft sunglasses was provided to me in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this post are my own. Photo credit for all images: Kirsten Doyle

Filed Under: Guideline Eyewear Draft, Product Review, running, Sunglasses Tagged With: athletes, brow ventilation, comfortable, glare, lightweight, nose pads, sweat

Easy Breezy Autism Covergirl?

November 13, 2013 By Kirsten

Being an autism parent comes with many challenges. One of them is society’s tendency to sensationalise people with autism who have any kind of talent. Temple Grandin, for instance, is frequently held up as a shining example of what autistic individuals might be able to accomplish. So, bizarrely, is Rain Man, who isn’t even real.

One of the latest autism whiz kids is a young woman by the name of Carly Fleischmann. She is non-verbal, and at a young age doctors predicted that her cognitive development would be limited. She had a breakthrough when she typed a message on a computer, and since then the world of communication has opened up to her. With the help of her father, she has written a book, Carly’s Voice, giving an insider’s view of autism.

My reaction to Carly’s story is a mixture of admiration and skepticism. Admiration because this girl has clearly achieved more than anyone thought she would. She has found a way to communicate, she has co-authored a book, and by all accounts she is now attending college. Good for her. And I don’t say that in a snarky, sarcastic way. I say it with all sincerity.

The skepticism arises from her reaction at being rejected as a Cover Girl model. She seems to be of the opinion that (a) Cover Girl rejected her because she has autism, and that (b) the reason Cover Girl should have accepted her is because she has autism.

Let me pause for a moment to say that I’m not intending to start a big debate about media portrayals of beauty. Yes, I know that the models we see on magazine covers have been Photoshopped to Kingdom Come. Yes, I’m aware that real people don’t look like that in real life.

I also know that physical beauty has nothing whatsoever to do with the presence or absence of autism. There are ordinary-looking people with and without autism, and there are absolutely show-stoppingly gorgeous people with and without autism. As the parent of a child with autism, I have heard many insults and unfair stereotypes aimed at people who are on the spectrum. But I have never heard anyone claim that people with autism are ugly.

This leads me to the following question: should Carly Fleischmann be granted a Cover Girl contract in spite of not meeting their physical standards, just because she has autism? I’m no oil painting myself, but I would venture to say that I have just as much inner beauty as Carly does. Why, then, should she have more entitlement to be a Cover Girl model than me? I’ve also overcome challenges and accomplished great things.

My son George is ten. He is described as “functionally verbal”, which means he has enough verbal communication to meet his needs. He has enough words to make requests and get by, but he cannot have a conversation. He has good academic skills, but lacks the ability to apply the academic concepts to real life. He can independently get dressed and use the washroom, and he can make himself a sandwich or pour himself a glass of milk. But he would not look at the colour of a traffic light before crossing the road, and if you gave him $10 and put him in a store, he wouldn’t know what to do.

I am big on accommodations for kids with autism. My child needs plenty of them, and if I’m to be realistic, he’ll more than likely need accommodations well into adulthood. He’ll probably be able to hold down a career – maybe he’ll even get to go to college – but he will almost definitely need to have his environment adapted in a way that enables him to succeed.

But.

I would not want my son to be on the cover of some magazine just because he has autism – unless it was a magazine about autism, or at least a magazine featuring a story about autism.

Look, if my son turns out to be the fastest athlete in the province but is denied a place on the Olympic team just because of his autism, I will turn into the world’s biggest autism advocate warrior mom. But if he misses the Olympic qualifying standards, would I want him to be given a place on the team anyway, just because he has autism? Hell, no.

I want my son to come by his accomplishments and accolades honestly, by earning them. I don’t want people to say that he got this job or won that award “just because he has autism”.

What do you think? Is Carly Fleischmann right to be upset over not being accepted as a Cover Girl model? Am I short-changing my son by wanting him to be judged by the same standards as other people?

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit: mhs.journalism. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.

Filed Under: autism, Carly Fleischmann, Cover Girl Tagged With: accommodations, accomplishments, beauty, Carly's Voice, cognitive development, communication, Rain Man, stereotypes, Temple Grandin

9 Things I’m Tired Of Seeing On Facebook

November 6, 2013 By Kirsten

The first thing I do every morning, while the rest of the family are still somewhere in Dreamland, is sit down with a cup of coffee and see what’s been going on in Facebookland while I’ve been sleeping. Within the first minute or so, as I’m scrolling down my newsfeed, I usually see about half a dozen things that annoy me. What’s worse is that I tend to get annoyed by the same things that annoyed me the previous day.

Maybe I’m getting old and jaded.

Or maybe people just keep posting the same annoying stuff, day in and day out.

Whatever the case may be, I want to vent about it a little bit. Here is my list of annoying things that I’m tired of hearing about.

1) The US Supreme Court has acknowledged that vaccines cause autism. The US Supreme Court has acknowledged no such thing. Here’s some intelligent, informed reading about that particular annoying topic. And just for the record, people who choose to vaccinate their children are not “sheeple”. The autism community, which already has enough problems, can do without that kind of name-calling.

2) Americans should be very afraid of the fact that the government can’t even put together a functional website, and yet they’re taking control of the health care system. Look, I’m not going to offer my opinions about Obamacare, simply because I don’t know enough about it. Maybe it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Maybe it will be an unmitigated disaster. I don’t know. What I do know is this: the fact that the website doesn’t work is not a predictor of the eventual success or failure of Obamacare. All it means is that the website sucks. This annoying thing is annoying because it’s yet another example of people linking two things that have little or nothing to do with each other.

3) Everything in your fridge is poisoning your family. Every day, I see endless posts claiming that this food is soaked in bleach or that food is really made of mushed-up alien brain. OK, not that last one, but you get the picture. There is so much food-related fear-mongering going on, and I’m just tired of hearing it. I always appreciate information that is valid, informed and balanced. I do not like quote-unquote “information” that serves no purpose but to scare people.

4. The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. I will never understand why we can’t just do what we can to stop the bad guy from getting the gun in the first place. Yes, I know that no system will ever be 100% guaranteed, but should that stop us from trying? Besides, you know what can stop a good guy, whether he has a gun or not? A bad guy with a gun.

5. When a celebrity dies it’s all over Facebook, but when a soldier dies no-one cares. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with people talking about celebrity deaths. Celebrities are a part of our culture. It’s OK for us to feel sad when they die. Secondly, I find that people are very respectful about the military, and fallen soldiers do get extensively recognised.

6. 97% of people won’t share this lame post that completely fails to raise awareness about cancer, child abuse or mental illness. I care about all of these things, but I don’t feel the need to prove it by annoying all of my Facebook friends. Anyway, where does that statistic even come from?

7. Asking your friends to change the settings on posts they see in their timeline will prevent Facebook from sharing your entire life with everyone in the world. As annoyances go, this is a pretty big one. The only person who can control who sees your posts is you. Not your friends. If you don’t want the public to see your posts, go and check your privacy settings. But if your friends make the change you’re asking them to make (which usually comes with a threat to unfriend anyone who doesn’t comply), all that will happen is that they will stop seeing your posts. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?

8. Because cigarette packaging has gruesome images on it, fast food should come with pictures of obese children, and alcohol should have pictures from the scenes of drunk driving accidents. Here’s the thing. If you eat a burger, I’m not going to get fat. Your consumption of fast food has no impact on me. It is true that when people get drunk and then drive, other people can die. But drinking and driving is against the law. Cigarettes can kill people who are not smoking them when used exactly as intended, in accordance with the law.

9. It doesn’t matter that this heartwarming story is fake. It’s still inspiring. No, it’s NOT. It’s fake! Maybe – like I said earlier – I’m getting old and jaded, but I just don’t get how something that’s not true can be inspiring. If you want to inspire me, tell me a heartwarming story that actually happened. Like this one.

And yes, that story is true. I checked it myself on Google Maps, and on a site that everyone should bookmark for those occasions when they just have to share something they’ve seen on Facebook: Snopes.

What annoyances do you see in your social media feeds?

This is an original post by Kirsten Doyle. Photo credit: marksmotos. This picture has a creative commons attribution license.

Filed Under: Annoyance, Facebook, Hoaxes, Myths Tagged With: autism, celebrity, food, guns, inspiring, military, newsfeed, Obamacare, privacy settings, smoking, snopes, vaccines

Book Review: Grace, Under Pressure (Sophie Walker)

October 28, 2013 By Kirsten

Being the parent of a child with autism can be a very lonely experience. Discovering that your child has a lifelong disability is a bit like being catapulted from your life into a kind of parallel universe where you don’t know what any of the rules are. You have to navigate the confusing maze of government funding and services, and at times you – and your child – are at the mercy of the whims and moods of the people who make decisions about what supports your child might qualify for.

As you wander helplessly in your parallel universe, not knowing where to turn, you might suddenly feel a hand in yours. Sometimes it will be a hand that gently guides you in the right direction. Sometimes, it will be a hand that reassures you, that lets you know you are not alone, that there are others in this same parallel universe who know what you are going through.

Reading Grace, Under Pressure by Sophie Walker had that effect on me. I started reading the book during a time when life seemed to be conspiring against me, and as I immersed myself in the story, I felt as if the author had taken my hand to keep me company through this journey.

Sophie’s life and mine have some strong parallels. Like me, she is the parent of a child on the autism spectrum, and running has been a salvation for her just like it has for me. Both of us run to raise funds for autism, and both of us live with the challenges of parenting a neurotypical child alongside a child with special needs.

In Grace, Under Pressure, Sophie tells the story of her life with her daughter Grace, who has Asperger’s Syndrome. Through wonderfully crafted narrative, we are taken through Grace’s early childhood, the struggle for answers and support, and Sophie’s evolution as a marathon runner. We get a balanced look at the ups and downs of special needs parenting, and the blood, sweat and tears of distance running. We see the laughter, the tears, the desperation, and the gut-wrenching relief when the light at the end of the tunnel finally comes into view.

This is a book about so many things. It is about a brave, bright little girl finding her way in a world in which she is different. It is about the unwavering dedication of a mother to her child. It is about the perseverance of an athlete striving to reach new heights.

Above all, it is about courage and inspiration, and the idea that no matter what, we should never give up hope.

About the author: Sophie Walker has been a journalist for over 15 years, reporting on events in such places as London, Iraq and Afghanistan. She lives in London with her husband and two daughters.

For more information about Sophie Walker and Grace, Under Pressure, please visit http://authorsophiewalker.com/home.

Many thanks to New World Library for providing me with a review copy of Grace, Under Pressure. All opinions expressed in this post are my own.

Filed Under: Aspergers Syndrome, autism, Book review, parenting, running, Sophie Walker, Under Pressure Tagged With: autism spectrum, dedication, disability, hope, inspiration, lonely, marathon, parallel universe, perseverance, special needs, struggle

Running For Autism 2013

October 22, 2013 By Kirsten

There are few things more surreal than waking up on the morning of your biggest race of the season – the event that you have spent all year preparing your body and mind for. You know that this is it. This is what everything you have done this season has been leading up to – every race, every long run in the pouring rain or blistering sun, every gruelling session of slogging repeatedly up the same hill.

As I got ready for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-Marathon on Sunday morning, I alternated between eerie calmness and frenetic nervousness. On the one hand, I felt ready. I had trained hard, and there was no question that my body would be able to handle the half-marathon – a distance that I had already run seven times in the last four years. On the other hand, I had just been through several months of the most mind-bending stress. My body was ready, but was my mind strong enough?

And would I be able to run 21.1km wearing a cape and a funny hat?

For the first time ever, I had decided to run a race in costume. This involved an autism-oriented logo…

… a hat spouting weird hair…

… and a cape.

The day before the race, I wavered on the whole costume idea. I was going to feel very self-conscious at the start, walking around among thousands of people with blue hair spouting from my hat. But then I remembered what I had written on the message wall at the runner’s expo – the reason I was doing all of this.

As it turned out, I didn’t feel self-conscious at all. In the start area I saw several people wearing costumes. Besides, I was hanging out with Charlie, who like me was running for the the Geneva Centre for Autism. I was having too much fun to feel self-conscious.

When Charlie and I made our way to the start line, we found ourselves further back in the pack than we had intended, and we felt as if we waited forever before we finally started to shuffle forward. I wished Charlie luck, stepped across the timing mats, and the race was on.

Right from the start, I felt marvelous. The costume didn’t bother me in the slightest, and I didn’t have any of the awkward stiffness that I sometimes feel during the first couple of kilometres. For a change I didn’t start out too fast. I ran the first 7K at a nice easy pace – fast enough to keep up a respectable average speed, but not so fast that I would run out of steam before hitting the halfway mark. About a third of the way into the race I kicked it up a notch, and by the time I ran over the 10K timing mats I was cruising along very comfortably.

Three kilometres later, I reached the turnaround point, and I was feeling great. I was starting to tire and I still had eight kilometres to go, but I was now physically heading towards the finish line. I contemplated increasing my speed, but decided not to. I tend to struggle in the 18th and 19th kilometres of a half-marathon, and I wanted to make sure I would have the energy to get through that patch.

As I was running up the only real hill on the course, my fuel belt came off, and I had to stop to pick it up and secure it around my waist again. I was worried: my pacing had been so perfect, and this was just the kind of thing that could break the rhythm. But fortunately, I was able to get right back into it without losing more than a few seconds. I made up the time by sprinting for sixty or seventy metres, and then settled back into my regular pace.

As soon as I started the 18th kilometre, I hit my customary struggle. My legs started to feel like jelly and my brain started to tell me that I couldn’t do this anymore. Telling myself that this was only in my head, I ran on. I allowed myself to slow down a little, but I kept going. I got through that kilometre and the next one by counting in my head – a neat little trick I figured out that distracts my mind from what I’m actually doing.

All of a sudden, I saw what I had been waiting for – the marker indicating that I was now in the 20th kilometre. Just like that, my mind cleared and my jelly-like legs started to feel strong. I had just over two kilometres to go – less than 13 minutes of running. I could do this. I told my legs to go faster and they willingly obeyed. With one kilometre to go, I slowed down briefly to remove my ear buds. I didn’t need music now. There were crowds of spectators lining both sides of the road – they would carry me to the finish.

500 metres to go. About ninety seconds from now the finish line would be in my sights. Spectators were cheering for me by name and I was smiling and waving cheerfully, loving every moment. With 300 metres to go, I put every ounce of remaining energy into my legs and a mental picture of George, my son and inspiration, into my head.

I crossed the finish line with a time of 2:16:42 – a new personal best time. My legs were hurting, but my spirits were absolutely flying.

When I got home, I gave my finisher’s medal to the person I was doing all of this for. The smile on his face mirrored the feelings in my soul.

This year’s race is done, and I am already looking forward to next year’s event.

Filed Under: Geneva Centre for Autism, Half-Marathon, Race, running, Running for Autism, Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Races Tagged With: costume, energy, finish line, George, pace, personal best, rhythm, spectators, start-line, struggle